Merry Christmas!

        Christmas is almost here, and I am SO EXCITED!  This season, I am constantly reminded that our family's Christmas celebration could have been much different, and I am eternally grateful to get to celebrate the birth of the Savior while holding onto my sweet little boy.  His being here makes the reality and importance of this holiday even more special to me.
        We had a Christmas program at church last week, called "Women at the Well".  It's a musical program about the Savior's love for women that highlights several women from the scriptures.  I was asked to sing Mary's song called "Miracle From Heaven."  Of course, it's a song Mary sings about her son, Jesus Christ.  That in and of itself would have made it hard for me to sing.  But then you add on top of that, the things I've experienced this year and it was a true miracle that I was able to sing it without bawling all over the microphone!  Here's some of the lyrics that had a double meaning for me:

I would see my Son rise to greatness, but now He's risen home to thee

He was my miracle from heaven, A wondrous miracle.

Miracles - I've known His miracles!

 

He has drenched Himself in our suffering that our suffering might not be.

He brings this miracle from heaven for all who will believe!

We need His miracle from heaven - Son, work this miracle for me.

         I don't mean to take away from the meaning of this song by comparing the lyrics to what I've been through this year.  For me, it made the lyrics MORE powerful and made me MORE grateful for the miracle of our Savior.  It was hard to sing, but a great way to start my Christmas celebrations.
        As for Flint, he is finally gaining weight at a steady pace and is now over 10 pounds.  He gained almost a whole pound in 9 days, so he's starting to make up for lost time and is getting a little chub on him.  He is so smiley and loves cooing and "talking" to us.  I tried to post a video of him going at it, but apparently Blogger has a "glitch." Trust me though, he is so stinking cute and has TONS of personality!

      He's also finally able to lay on the back of his head.  This probably seems totally insignificant to anyone who's had a baby, because it's something I've taken for granted with all my other kids.  Babies should spend most of their "resting" time laying (lying? - I really don't know) on the back part of their head, as opposed to the side.  To do that though, requires muscles strength.  This has been an extra challenge for Flint because he's been so skinny, and because his head is so much bigger than the rest of his body (right now, his head is in the 50th percentile while his height and weight aren't even on the chart).  This has been the main goal of his therapy to this point, so we've spent a lot of time each day "exercising" him to help him build those muscles.  By exercising, I really just mean playing in a purposeful way, but it's all about strengthening his muscles. His head almost always flops over to the side, because it's just so hard to keep it up.  Now he's finally able to keep his head where it needs to be!  This is especially important, because many other developmental milestones come much easier when a baby can "center" himself - things like tracking with their eyes, comforting themselves, bringing their hands to the center.  Anyway, it's been fascinating to learn and I wish I had known these things with my first 4 children!  We just take so much for granted!
        Most of the Christmas preparations are done and we're just ready to celebrate.  Davis and Duke performed in a Christmas recital on Saturday and both did an AWESOME job!  They are great pianists and I'm so proud of how hard they work to be able to play the way they do.  It is not easy to get up at 6 AM every morning so you can practice the piano, but they do it each day with a great attitude.  Gage had his school Christmas program the other day and was the cutest little angel you'd ever see.  And Trayson has continued to fill his roll as "older sibling supporter," though we can now add the title of "best big brother EVER" to his list of attributes. 
        Since I doubt I will write anything else before Christmas, I want to wish everyone a wonderful celebration!  This year has been one for the books for us, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it for anything.  There have certainly been trying, scary times for us but through it all, we have felt our Heavenly Father near.  This year, more than ever before, we are grateful to celebrate our Savior's birth.  We joyously share that His miracle birth, life, and resurrection have made all the events associated with our miracle birth so much easier to handle!  Truly, "He has drenched Himself in our suffering, that our suffering might not be!"

 

Everyone Else!

        Since I've obviously updated about Flint's progress, I thought I'd better catch up on the rest of the family too!  We had a fun Halloween and we're very excited for the upcoming holidays.  We're going to San Antonio for Thanksgiving and then spending Christmas in Idaho, so we can't wait for some nice downtime with family.  Here's what everyone's been up to over the last little while:
        Davis has been busy being a surrogate mother to my boys when Brock and I have been dealing with baby issues.  She is a wonderful helper and leader, and her brothers all look up to her and love her.  She plays the piano beautifully and LOVES reading!  She's a great athlete, but also willingly took a break from sports for the last couple of months so we could simplify life a little.  She did get to run in her first road race (2 miles) and finished in under 20 minutes - pretty good for someone who had never run long distances before!  She was also chosen as one of two MCs who got to introduce her choir program at school.  She is growing up way too fast and I am so grateful to have such a sweet daughter in our family!

        Duke is loving life as an 8 year old.  He is so proud of his baptism and carries such a sweet spirit with him in all that he does.  He also LOVES being a cub scout.  Almost every night, he pulls out his Wolf book and asks us to help him pass off a requirement.  Hmmm...I'm seeing a future for him that is much like his dad's, who was an Eagle Scout at the age of 13!  While Duke doesn't LOVE playing the piano, he was a wonderful attitude while he practices each day and is a pretty awesome player.  Duke has also finally decided that he really likes football, and had a great time playing flag football this Fall.  His ultimate love at this point though, is rocks.  He LOVES collecting rocks, and always has.  Just like his father, he is truly a gentle giant!

        Gage is such a funny 5 year old.  He has always been "an imp" (as my mom calls him), and he keeps us laughing with his witty and fun take on life.  He's the oldest in his preschool class and is starting to read and write.  He loves all things boy, especially super heroes, power rangers, ninjas, and FOOTBALL!  This kid is obsessed with football, and can commentate on the plays like a pro!  Seriously, as the play happens, Gage will be sitting on the couch shouting things like "OH!  He threw an interception!  Whoa, that guy is FAST, they never catch him!  That was a good tackle!  They better punt the ball!"  It really makes me laugh that my 5 year old understand football better than I do, but maybe that's not really saying much! While he waits to be old enough to play football, he passes the time as a really good soccer player.

 

        Trayson is my little buddy and constant companion.  Oh, if I could count the number of doctor appointments he's been to with me and Flint over the last 6 months!  He knows all the different doctors and asks which one we're going to at each visit.  Of all my kids, Trayson's life has probably been the most affected by the craziness.  Between feeling horrible my whole pregnancy both physically and emotionally, and then dealing with the extra demands of Flint being in the NICU, Trayson has gotten a much different mom than my other kids did at his age. Because of this, I often worried that he would resent Flint, but I could not have been more wrong,  He is absolutely IN LOVE with his little brother and always wants to kiss and hold him.  He too, is ALL BOY and always has a car, sword, gun, or ball in his hands.  He also has a wonderful imagination that cracks me up.  When we were driving to an appointment last week, I could see him in my rear view mirror, talking to himself.  He was very intent on the other cars on the road and seemed very intense as he watched them.  Finally I heard him sing "Go, go Power Rangers!" and then say "Beat them Mom!  Pass them!"  Wherever we go, Trayson thinks we are in the middle of a car race and it is important that I pass everyone else and win!  He also frequently sets his football up in the living room in just the right way, sings the "kicking song" they always play at the high school football game here, and then runs and kicks it into the imaginary field goal.  He just makes me laugh!

        Last, but certainly not least, is my husband.  Brock is A-MAZ-ING!  It is all I can do to take care of one baby and 4 kids each day, but somehow, he manages to balance so many different responsibilities without any problem at all!  He is the BEST husband, and always steps up to help without me asking.  I've given up on worrying about our house being cleaned for the next several months, but all on his own, Brock will come home from work and do dishes, the laundry, sweep, mop, vacuum, dust, or anything else that may need to be done.  And he doesn't do these things because he's disgusted with me for not doing them, he just does it to help.  He helps the kids with school work and plays with them outside when I need a break.  He goes to work each day as a very busy college professor who teaches, researches, advises students, and works hard to grow his program.  On top of all this, he serves as the Bishop of our church congregation and works hard to lead, serve, counsel, and help the members of our ward.  I have always been amazed that he married me, but I have become even more amazed by him throughout the last several months.  He really is one of the greatest blessings in my life and I am SO in love with him!
        As for me, all I can say is that I am one lucky, blessed girl.  The greatest blessings in life are the relationships we have and these people make up the most important relationship that I enjoy - my family!
       

Life At Home

        Flint has now been home for over a month, and things are finally starting to settle into a rhythm.  At first, he had a lot of follow-up doctor appointments to attend, but now we are in a pattern of seeing the occupational therapist (Audra) once a month, the neurosurgeon (Dr. Errington) every couple of months, and the pediatrician (Dr. Walsh) every WEEK!  Yes, you read that right!  He should only have to see her every couple of months, like any other well-child appointment schedule.  However, Flint is having a difficult time gaining weight, so we've been in there every week to monitor his weight.  I tell you, the things you take for granted!  I've had babies who have weighed 16 pounds at their 2 month check! 
        All my other babies gain weight as easily as I do, so it was totally unexpected when Flint didn't gain any weight over a 10 day period.  Dr. Walsh was quite concerned and had me start supplementing after each time I nursed him.  I was shocked to see that every time I completed a full nursing session with him, he would still chug down about 2-3 ounces of formula!  It is just so much harder to get milk from Mom than from a bottle!  After doing this for a week, he gained 11 ounces, so we were VERY excited that he was finally over 7 lbs.  However, by this point, he also refused to take a bottle.  He was nursing so much better after the week of supplementing, that I assumed he had kind of woken up and figured nursing out so he didn't need any extra. I quit trying to supplement him and just made sure he had good, strong nursing sessions.  That was pretty easy to do, because he spent the following week attached to me, nursing non-stop.  I figured he was going through a growth spurt like my other kids had done and all was finally well.  YA RIGHT!  We weighed him Wednesday after the growth spurt, and he only gained 2 ounces that week!  Dr. Walsh asked how often I was supplementing him and I told her he wouldn't take a bottle anymore, so I hadn't supplemented him at all.  She pulled out a bottle of formula, popped it in his mouth, and he proceeded to chug down 2 ounces.  That little turkey! 
        Needless to say, we are officially back to supplementing.  Dr. Walsh said that preemies just have a much higher caloric need than other babies (and the neurosurgeon said having hydrocephalus makes it even higher), so he's just burning through calories faster than I can make them.  At this point, he is a 7 lb, 3 oz. two-and-a-half month old, so he is way under his caloric needs.  So far this week, he has been fine with the bottles, so we are just praying hard that he will continue to do so.  If not, we'll have to supplement him with a syringe in his mouth because he just simply HAS to have those extra calories.  We'll go in Wednesday for another weight check and are hoping for good news!
        The other thing that makes it hard for him to gain weight, is that he spits up like CRAZY!  It is not projectile by any means, but he probably spits out 1/3 of what he eats.  Dr. Walsh finally put him on some reflux medicine, but so far we haven't seen many improvements on that front.  I'm not really worried about this, but it sure is a pain to deal with!  He goes through burp cloths like you wouldn't believe, and there is absolutely no point in wearing anything even sort of nice when you hold him, because it is highly likely that it will soon be soaking wet with spit-up. 
        While these challenges can be a little stressful to deal with, I am so grateful to be dealing with them!  It's a blessing to have a sweet, healthy baby in our home and I find joy in helping him meet his challenges.  Overall, Flint really is doing great and is doing all the same things any other baby would be doing.  He was quite fussy for a few weeks, but now that he's getting a full tummy, he is sweet and peaceful, and on Friday he smiled at me for the first time!  I literally burst into tears!  He has continued to smile a couple of times each day since then, and we are SO happy to finally see it.  Even though that smile was right on schedule with his gestational age, it felt like it would never come since he's actually been here for 2 1/2 months.  We're so grateful that he has reached his first big milestone!
        Everyone else is doing great and we're all starting to catch our breath after a crazy couple of months.  Now that the scary part of this experience has passed, we had a Family Home Evening on Monday to talk about what we learned through this.  We discussed that whenever we have trials, we need to learn from the experience and be grateful for the miracles we've seen.  We asked the kids to write down what they learned from their experience with Flint.  I was touched by their sweet responses:
        Davis:  "I learned that people give us things and helped us with Flint.  He is a miracle and he is so fun.  People give service in times of need.  Even though only one person can be at our sport events, they help Flint grow stronger and bigger. (She was referring to the fact that until RSV season is over, Flint has to stay home and therefore, only one parent can come to all the kids' events).  People love us very much and we love them too!  When he starts getting bigger, I'm going to take him into my room and help him read better.  Flint is a MIRACLE!"
        Duke:  "Lots of people helped us when Flint was going to come.  That means that Jesus answered our prayers.  I'm thankful that Flint is alive.  Even though Flint has a tube in his head, he is just the same."
        Gage: "Flint is fun.  Flint is alive.  Heavenly Father answers our prayers."
        Trayson didn't really understand the question "What did you learn?" so Brock just asked him what he was grateful for about Flint.  Here's what he told Brock: "Holding him.  Kissing him.  I'm a big brother.  I'll teach him how to walk down the stairs and how to run.  Heavenly Father answers prayers.  Socks, bed, put shoes on."  (I'm not sure about that last part, but that's what he said!)
        Out of the mouths of babes!
        As life progresses from this point, I am anxious that Flint's disability not define our family, so my posts from now on will hopefully be able to center more on our family as a whole.  His progression will certainly be an integral part of our family, but I don't want it to be the only part.  I will be sure to post updates on all the other kids soon, but for now we are grateful to be home, enjoying life as a family!         

A Blessed Weekend

        The weekend of October 26-27 was very exciting for our family.  We had two special events, a baptism and a baby blessing.  Our son, Duke, just turned 8 years old and decided to be baptized, so we decided that since our family would be here for that, we'd go ahead and do Flint's baby blessing the same weekend.  Our parents were all here, as well as my sister Katie and her family.  It was a wonderful weekend to celebrate the lives of these two boys, and the miracles we have been blessed with by our Heavenly Father. 
        Duke's baptism was Saturday afternoon, and he had a beautiful program with speakers and songs that he had chosen.  He was SO excited to be baptized and had worked hard to prepare himself for this special event.  After Brock baptized him, Duke just glowed with joy!  Duke is so sweet, and the Spirit just shines through his kind disposition.  Man, I love him!

 

        On Sunday morning, Brock blessed Flint during our sacrament meeting at church.  The blessing Flint received was powerful and sacred, with many promises that the Spirit will compensate for what is missing in his brain.  Priesthood ordinances are real, and I am overwhelmed by the miracles that I know we will continue to see in Flint's life as he progresses!  As I've said before, I think one of Flint's main jobs is to reaffirm to us that God is actively involved in our life and his power to work miracles is unlimited. 

         We are so grateful for the wonderful weekend we enjoyed!  It was a blessing to have so many loved ones here with us (even though I never got a picture with all of them - URG!).  Our family is so supportive of us, and this special weekend was made even more wonderful by their attendance.  I feel so blessed!

I Am Learning

        Two weeks after leaving the NICU, Flint and I are back at the hospital for his hernia repair.  While any surgery is a little scary, this one is no big deal compared to his shunt surgery - THANK GOODNESS!  This surgery is usually a one-day thing, but because he's so young and little he will stay overnight for precautionary monitoring. 
         Being here again has made me reflect on the events of the last 5 months, since we first started finding out about Flint's condition.  I have experienced and learned things that I will never forget, and I sometimes feel like Heavenly Father created this whole experience to be a personal tutorial, catered just for me. Through Flint, I feel Him smoothing out my rough edges and providing just enough fire to mold me into more of the person He wants me to be.  I've still got a long ways to go, but this     experience is certainly helping me on my way!
         I am learning that the time to prepare for hard things is now, BEFORE the hard moment strikes.  In our life, we all will experience those moments where our lives take a dramatic change from where we wanted.  From that point on, our life will never be the same.  Who we are AT THAT MOMENT is the only tool we have to pull us through.  When this all got really crazy, I had to run on the fumes of instinct.  I didn't have the time or mental energy to even think about my actions.  Whatever was my base instinct was all I could do.  This trial was designed to expose me for who I really am and strip me down to my core.  When all the non-important stuff was out of the way, it was very easy to see me for who I really am.  Everything about me became magnified, both strengths, AND weaknesses.  I am glad I had sufficient strength and faith to rely on the Lord, and I am even more grateful for His patience in dealing with my abundant weaknesses!
         I am learning how important it is to look past outward appearances and behaviors and into the hearts of the people I come in contact with.  I know that until he has hair, the first thing people will notice when they see Flint, is the shunt in his head.  What breaks my heart though, is the thought that the shunt will prevent someone from seeing what a beautiful baby Flint is.  They will get so caught up in "What is that weird thing on his head?" that they will miss seeing the real Flint.  I know that this is going to happen, because it's exactly what I did when I first saw pictures of babies with shunts.  All I could see was the one weird thing on the baby's head, and it kept me from seeing all the other beautiful things that made that baby who he was.  I have since wondered how many times I have done that same thing with other people, in other situations?  Whether it's a physical defect, a pattern of bad behavior, or even a difference of opinion, have I gotten so stuck on the one "distraction' that I fail to see who the person really is?
         I am learning that people will find an infinite number of ways to serve when the need arises.  We have been inundated by acts of service in our behalf!  People have brought us meals, watched our kids, cleaned our house, chauffeured me around when I couldn't drive, sent care packages and treats, brought toys for our kids, made special mementos to help us remember this time, mowed the back acre of our yard, crocheted baby booties and blankets, visited in the hospital, sent notes, and the list goes on and on!  So often, a friend would send a text to see how I was doing right when I was feeling discouraged.  Friends and family who have lost babies have shared their stories with me, even when I am sure it must have been hard for them to relive so many of their experiences.  I would imagine it must even be hard for them to read my blog and know that my outcome with my child was so different than their outcome was with theirs.  Whether the person was a family member, someone from church, an old high school friend, someone from my mission, a coworker of Brock's, or a parent from Duke's football team, we have been humbled at the many people who have done all they can to walk with us down a road that was very lonely and frightening.  Even knowing that people were following our story on this blog lifted our spirits and made this whole ordeal a lot easier to handle!
         I am learning to just let the Lord be in control.  Nothing about this whole experience is what I "wanted."  I wanted a girl and I got a boy.  I wanted a vaginal delivery and I got a C-section.  I wanted a perfect and "normal" baby, but instead I got one who is going to have challenges.  It amazes me now to realize that I even wanted that baby to return home to Heavenly Father so he wouldn't have to deal with such a challenging life.  Instead of all those things I wanted, I got FLINT!  And now, I can't imagine wanting anything other than him!  I am so glad that I got what I needed instead of what I wanted, because what I needed has now become the thing that I most desire.  In this situation, I had no choice other than to accept the things that I didn't want.  Sometimes though, we DO get to choose whether we're going to do something the Lord's way and let Him be in control.  I am learning that the times of real growth come when we choose to follow the Lord's direction, even when His way isn't the same way WE want.
         Finally, the most important thing I have learned, is that when the Lord is involved, there is a LOT of room for miracles.  When we first learned that Flint's life would not be the perfect one I envisioned, there were only two miracles that I thought could even exist: that Flint would either be healed completely, or that he would die soon after he was born so he wouldn't have to go through a lifetime of challenges associated with his disability.  Neither of those miracles occurred, but time and time again over the last 2 months, I have seen other miracles worked in behalf of Flint and our family.  When my doctor first told me about Flint's growth restriction and the placenta giving out early, she said we would hopefully "make it to 24 weeks because then the baby would be viable." I wanted a lot more than just "viable" and was in agony over what they would try to do to my baby if he was born that early and that small.  My sister lost her baby at 32 weeks, and he weighed 3 pounds.  I held him in my arms, and while he was very small, he still felt like a baby and not a doll to me.  Because of that experience, I always felt like Flint would have a good shot at life if we could just make it to 32 weeks and 3 pounds.  What a miracle when I delivered at 34 weeks and he weighed 3 pounds, 1 ounce!  All through the pregnancy, we didn't know if he would make it here alive, and if he did, we didn't know if he would continue to live.  There was a high likelihood that he would need to be intubated, and there were a whole slew of possible problems that he would have to face.  Not only did he make it here alive (barely), but his respiration was great, and other than the shunt, he has had very little problems.  So many miracles happened in getting his shunt placed.  From insurance covering the flight, to having met one of the few pediatric neurosurgeons in the region just weeks before, to getting financial help with the trip from the Children's Miracle Network and Ronald McDonald House, to having help from many people at home and in Dallas to make it happen, and from Flint's tiny little body handling the surgery as well as he did, we have been reminded continually that there are LOTS of miracles to be had!  As my OB doctor said recently when we were discussing why this happened with Flint: "There's really no WHY with this situation.  This is just how Flint was made to be.  He just was not bound for life on this earth without modern medicine."  No, it is obvious to me that Flint would not be here without the help of medicine.  But it is even more clear that he would not be here without the MANY miracles that Heavenly Father has worked in his behalf. I think that one of Flint's main purposes in life, is to show the world that miracles have not ceased.  God is alive and well and intimately aware of our lives.  He is all-powerful and uses that power to bless our lives.  It is up to us whether we will recognize His hand in our daily actions.  With God, there are always miracles to be had, if we just open our eyes to see them. 
         This Sunday, Flint is going to make a brief appearance at church (due to his prematurity and it being RSV season, his doctors have told us to keep him away from large crowds until Spring).  In a special ceremony (kind of like a Christening), Brock and other worthy priesthood holders will take Flint in their arms and give him a special blessing for his life.  This is something I didn't know if I would get to witness, and I am so looking forward to hearing a little more of what Heavenly Father has in store for our Flint.  As Flint continues to grow, I am sure he will continue to teach me many lessons.  I am grateful Flint chose to come to earth in this way, so he could help his momma be a better person.  I am trying to learn, and hoping I measure up to the greatness of the spirit in this sweet little boy.

Getting Home

     My due date was 6 days ago, and I'm sitting at home enjoying my beautiful, healthy 7 week old son.  What a ride it has been!  I am so grateful that Flint is home and that we are able to enjoy him whenever and however we want.  We feel SO blessed!
     Our last few days at the NICU went well as we just focused on making sure Flint was a good, consistent eater.  I am so grateful that the doctors and nurses slowed down and weren't in a rush to get us out of there until WE were ready to get out of there!  Of course, we all wanted Flint home so we could be together as a family. More than that though, I wanted him READY to be home.  It took awhile of trying different things, but he finally got the hang of nursing and I was pretty confident that all would go well at home. 
      On Monday (the 7th), they told us we could "room-in" that night and we should plan on going home on Tuesday.  You "room-in" by sleeping with your baby in a room across the hall from the NICU.  It's kind of a dress rehearsal for going home, where you can make sure everything runs smoothly but if it doesn't, the doctors and nurses are there to help.  We really didn't NEED to room-in, since Flint doesn't have any extra equipment needed for his day-to-day living.  However, he had never nursed more than 3 feedings in a row, and no one was sure how he would do if he had to nurse more than that, so we felt it could only help us.  We decided not to tell anyone we were probably coming home, because we had been scheduled for a room-in the week before, and then Flint had his eating setback.  We didn't want to disappoint anyone again, especially our kids, so this time around we kept things to ourselves in case it didn't work out. 
      Rooming-in went great, and Flint ate like a champ the whole time!  The only drawback to the whole scenario was that it reminded me why I have NEVER had a baby sleep in the same room as me.  Oh my WORD!  I forgot how noisy babies are!  Flint grunted and squeaked all night long, and even though he only ate a couple of times that night, I hardly got any sleep.  It was all worth it though, to know that Flint was finally ready to come home.
      The next morning, Brock left the hospital and went to work, while our friend who stayed with the kids the previous night got them to school.  I hung out at the hospital and waited on paperwork so we could be officially discharged.  At about noon, the nurse had me take my stuff down to the van, so the only thing left to haul down was Flint.  I got everything loaded in the van and came back up, expecting to be able to take Flint, when I was told there was a hold up.  As the discharging nurse did her final evaluation of Flint, she found that he had a hernia that needed to be fixed.  She had paged the surgeon on call and asked him to come look at it and see when he could fix it.  She said he would probably fix it right then, which would mean Flint wouldn't be discharged that day.  AGH!  Can this kid ever catch a break?  Not only was I disappointed about the possibility of not going home that day, but I was also worried that having the surgery would cause him to have another eating setback, right when he was finally getting everything figured out. 
      Luckily for me, there were no more surgical spots open that day.  Plus, the surgeon agreed that it would be better for him to go home and get really comfortable with nursing BEFORE the surgery, so there wouldn't be any major setbacks there this time around.  His surgery is scheduled for next Tuesday, the 22nd, and then hopefully this little boy can take a rest from pokes and prods!
      By the time all this was figured out, it was already almost 3:00.  My kids get out of school at 3, and our plan all along had been to be home waiting for the kids when they got there.  Brock picked them up and then ran a couple of quick errands so I could have time to get Flint home and ready for the big surprise.
      When I walked in the door of my home though, I realized that the surprise was on ME!  Unbeknownst to me, six of my friends had contacted Brock and arranged to come clean my home while I was gone.  They didn't know Flint was coming home too, they just felt inspired to help.  What a blessing it was to walk into my home with my sweet new baby, and have it cleaned top-to-bottom!
       I sat Flint down in his carseat in the middle of the living room and waited.  Just a few minutes later, I heard the garage door open and the kids started coming in.  I didn't say a word; I just sat there as one-by-one, they saw him, screamed with delight, and came over to have a better look.  It was SUCH a sweet moment!  These wonderful big siblings have been through a lot over the last several months, and it was so touching for them to finally get their time with their brother. 
       The last week and a half have been wonderful!  We've all spent lots of time cuddling and holding him, and he is adjusting to his new home.  Even though he's 7 weeks old, he's still developmentally only 1 week old, so he's doing all the typical brand newborn things. This means that between him and the 4 other kids and their schedules, I am getting very little sleep, but it is so worth it! I wouldn't trade it for anything, but now you know why it's taken me so long to get this update written and posted.  We're busy enjoying life and adjusting to being a family of 7! 
         Because we didn't know if Flint would even make it through the pregnancy, I was never able to bring myself to set up his room.  I just couldn't bear the thought of unpacking all the baby clothes and setting up his crib if he wasn't going to be around to use them. While it has added a measure of chaos to be doing all those things now, I am so grateful I get to do it at all!  It amazes me that a couple of months ago I didn't know if Flint would make it and was even praying he WOULDN'T, because I thought his condition would be so grave.  And now, he is home and looking and acting like any other baby would!
        At this point, Flint has a couple of follow-up appointments.  He had his final retina check on Tuesday and everything looked good, so at this point we can check that off our list for awhile at least.  He went to the pediatrician a week ago and weighed 6 pounds (he doubled his birth-weight in 6 weeks - what a TUB!). :)  Next week he has his surgery, and then the week after he has a follow-up with the neurosurgeon, another with the pediatrician, and one more with the occupational therapist.  After that week, it will mainly be the occupational therapist and neurosurgeon who will follow him, other than the normal well child exams with the pediatrician.  The occupational therapist and neurosurgeon will continue to monitor his progress and get others involved if necessary as Flint grows and we get a better feel for how Dandy Walker will affect him.  As we've said all along, this particular condition has a wide range of levels, from hardly any issues at all, to severely limited functioning.  Only time and Flint will tell us where he falls on the spectrum. 
         In the meantime, we are loving time with him in our family.  We all love him to pieces, and he seems to be thriving on that love in our home.  It's a good thing he loves our home so much, because that's pretty much all he's going to see for the next few months.  RSV is a BEAST with preemies, so we're not really going to take him ANYWHERE until Spring is here.  It will be hard to juggle everything going on with one of us needing to stay home with Flint, but we are grateful we have that challenge!
        We will continue to actively pray for miracles in Flint's behalf for a very long time, and are so grateful for all your support! I am just so amazed at the miracles that this little boy has already shown me, and I feel so blessed!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 It's so tiring when you're trying to GROW! :)

 

 

 

He's Home!

That's right! Flint was discharged from the hospital today and we are SO excited to all be home together. I'll write more details later but wanted you all to know that your prayers paid off and Flint is enjoying the love of his family now. We are so blessed and grateful for the Lord's miracles on our behalf!

Retirement

       This post is long overdue, and now that I have a few moments, it is time for a little tribute!
       My mom was a stay-at-home mom until my youngest sister started school.  When that happened, my mom became an elementary school music teacher, and boy was she good!  She loved her job and the students she taught (most of the time), but after 20 years of teaching, she finally retired last year.  Ahhh!  The good life!  My mom looked forward to lots of relaxing and vacationing, and basically just doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. 
        Well, in the year since my mom retired, she has had a daughter lose a baby at 17 weeks of pregnancy, her mother-in-law died and her estate had to be settled, then her father died and his house had to be sold, and then finally I gave birth to a little boy who we weren't sure would even make it, but had brain surgery and is now thriving and adjusting to life.  In every one of those situations, my mom showed up to help, mourn, support, and serve.  These visits have taken her to Dallas, Utah on several occasions, and to our house TWICE in three weeks.  I know that my mom would have LOVED to do other things during these experiences, and she had to sacrifice a lot to be able to help.  But I also know these experiences ended up being some of the most sacred in her life. 
         I can't speak for the others she helped, but I can say that on my end of things, I didn't have to even ASK her to come, she just volunteered and did it.  When I found out I was being induced, she and my dad jumped in the car immediately and made their way here to help. I will always remember when they walked into the hospital room after Flint was born, how Brock and I both collapsed in their arms in tears. We had been brave and strong all day and finally we had someone there to be strong for us. When Flint's surgery was finally scheduled, my mom and dad both drove up and spent the week taking care of them so Brock and I could both be with Flint and focus on him. 
         I have always been very independent and as an adult, never really needed my mom.  I honestly think that is a tribute to the kind of parent she is, because she raised me to be able to take care of myself.  However, this whole ordeal with Flint has had me running to her in tears on multiple occasions.  And ALWAYS, she has been there to catch me when I needed it.  She has listened when I needed it and shared wisdom when I couldn't come up with the right answer.  She has given of herself by taking care of my kids so I didn't have to worry about them and not once did she even joke about it being difficult.  I'm sure it was hard for her to take care of my four big kids when she's been "retired" from that kind of parenting for so long, but she jumped right in and didn't complain once. 
         No less deserving of this tribute has been my dad.  He's always been right there beside my mom and has missed work and given up pay to be able to be here.  He's helped me stand when it was hard to do it on my own.  He's not afraid to cry with me and has helped me sort out my feelings and fears. 
        Most important, both of my parents have continually pointed me to the source of the only TRUE comforter, my Heavenly Father, and their wisdom and calmness have brought hope and faith to me when I struggled.     
        I am sure that Brock would say the same thing about the support he has received from his parents.  I know they have been a calming and powerful influence for him as he has gone through this as well.  We are both blessed by good parents who know what it means to truly parent.  They know that parenting adult children means that there are some things that you DO retire from; they know it's not their business how we raise our kids, where we live, how we manage our money, or what jobs we choose to take.  But for all the other aspects of parenting - the loving, supporting, listening, and "showing up," they know that is something they will never retire from!  I really don't know how we could have managed the last 5 months without their support, and I felt I would be ungrateful if I didn't publicly acknowledge all they've done for our family. 
         Believe me though, I REALLY hope that the next year brings a much more relaxing retirement to my mom.  Not only does she deserve it, but hopefully, that will mean that things have calmed down a little bit for all of us!